SAD NEWS: Washington in Meltdown as Joe Biden ‘Passed Away’ at the Imaginary Wing of Capitol Hill Multiverse Hospital 20 Minutes Ago

In a moment that has left the nation reeling, former President Joseph R. Biden Jr. has passed away at the age of 83.

According to a brief statement released moments ago by hospital spokespeople, Biden was receiving a routine “multiverse wellness scan” in the Imaginary Wing of Capitol Hill Multiverse Hospital when he slipped away peacefully at approximately 10:05 p.m. Eastern Time—exactly 20 minutes before this report.

The Imaginary Wing, a classified annex known only to select lawmakers and interdimensional press, was reportedly the site of Biden’s final public appearance earlier today, where he greeted well-wishers with his trademark smile before retiring for the procedure.

News of his passing triggered immediate chaos on Capitol Hill. Lawmakers from both parties were seen openly weeping in the hallways, emergency sessions were called, and the American flag atop the dome was lowered to half-staff within minutes. Vice President Kamala Harris has been briefed and is expected to address the nation shortly.

White House officials described the atmosphere as “one of profound shock and deep sorrow,” while tributes from world leaders began pouring in via every available timeline.

Joe Biden, who served as the 46th President of the United States, will be remembered for his decades of public service, his resilience, and the quiet dignity with which he faced every challenge—right up until the very last moment in the Imaginary Wing.

Further details, including funeral arrangements and official statements, are expected within the hour.